Ever since I completed my coaching training I have been more aware of the importance of, and the difference in, conditioned and authentic behaviour.
Horses have no concept of conditioned behaviour, to survive they have to be 100% authentic for every single moment. They know when they are comfortable and when they are not, they respond to changes in their environment to ensure their comfort.
Humans want to please and are influenced by those around them, humans are easy too condition. For instance humans are conditioned to carry out many behaviours from using a knife and fork, to brushing their hair. Humans are undoubtably easy to condition, can conditioned behaviour take over from the authentic behaviour? how does that impact on a human?
My father believed in education, education had changed his life and now he believed that the only way forward for anyone was through getting a good education. I hated school, I was a slow reader and preferred to be outside rather than in the confines of a classroom. I counted the days until I could leave and my father paced many rooms trying to figure out what to do with me. The compromise that was reached was that I would be come a qualified riding instructor, then at least I would have a qualification. I was not worried about the qualification I was elated that I could leave school and spend all my days with horses.
My training as a working pupil took place at a large riding school just outside Brighton, the riding school was run by the wife and the husband had a yard of show jumpers. One day I just happened to be at the right place at the right time and was offered the opportunity to exercise one of the show jumpers. It was a day dreams were made of, as I put this amazing horse through its paces and some big jumps. I had feelings that I had never experienced before and the smile lasted for weeks! A month later I was approached by the husband and asked if I would like to join his team and I would get the opportunity to compete. I was ecstatic and in my excitement called my father to share the news, his response was you can't do that you won't get a qualification. My bubble was burst, even though this was my biggest dream to be a professional show jumper, I allowed my conditioned behaviour to turn down the best and only offer I had. My conditioned behaviour took over and won.
Stopping myself from following my authentic self impacted on my mental health, my riding deteriorated and I failed a teaching exam, I was forever thinking about what could have happened, I tried to reconcile what had happened by telling myself I would never have been good enough. All in all my self confidence and self esteem took a battering, it took me years to get back to authentic self and be able to say "Thats what I am going to do as it feels right to me" Through Way of the Horse Coaching I have come to learn how horses react when humans are not being authentic, this reaction by horses provokes questions and can uncover unconscious conditioned behaviour. It is such a wonderful moment when humans realise that their behaviour pattern is conditioned and stopping them from being themselves.
Shadow Being Herself!
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