Stop! Why is my horse walking away from me?

When I was younger I spent alot of my time at the stables in the presence of its very eccentric owner. For me it was the best place in the world to be and I was never put off....

I clearly remover a very angry horse called Paddy he was 15.3 and according to the owner a bout of strangles (a common and nasty horse disease) had left him very miserable. The way that he commonly expressed his anger was biting humans, not a nip but a full on lurch with beared teeth. His favourite target area was womens breasts. I will never forget witnessing this massive grey horse lurching with open mouth at the eccentric owner and her right breast disappearing into the horses mouth, luckily he quickly let go. This childhood terror has seemingly stuck in my mind and is very much alive in my subconscious. Unbeknown to me I avoid at all costs stand straight in front of a horse. Now Shadow has picked up on this, she walks directly up to me front on, gives me a friendly nuzzle and I always turn away. Shadow is not impressed, she try again and I turn again, Shadow then walks away and has very little interest in me. For ages I wasn't even conscious of my behaviour how I was turning away from her, I was just getting frustrated that she kept walking away from me!!

Slowly the memory of Paddy biting the eccentric owner emerged in my mind. I began to understand how this was impacting on my behaviour and the way Shadow was walking away. I knew that Shadow would never bite like Paddy yet I was allowing Paddy's behaviour - from 40 years ago- to impact on my relationship with Shadow. The most frustrating thing was as this always happened at the start of my sessions with Shadow it impacted throughout the session. On understanding this I can now recognise that memory and dismiss it, I know that Shadow isn't Paddy, now Shadow and I have had the most wonderful connection. Thank you Shadow for teaching me how old events can impact on present behaviour.