STAY CALM AND WATCH MY EARS
“Being calm appeared to be linked to feeling safe, which is considered a fundamental element of the therapeutic relationship” (Frank & Frank, 1991; Friesen, 2010; Kurtz, 1990; Sedgewick, 2001).
There is lots of excellent feedback from researchers studying the impact of equine learning on disengaged youth. At Way of the Horse Coaching we know it’s a positive experience as we are seeing the difference it makes to our young people, from not being able to get out of the car too feeling safe in the arena with 3 horses, to being able to express what they feel.
What is it about the horse that engages these young people? Even the ones that are fearful? The answer to this is a mixture of many different elements too many for us to explore, so we will just start with one fundamental element that enables the relationship with the horse and the young person to begin - calmness.
The joy of the horse for the young person is that the horse is not judgemental and is non verbal. Our young people arrive and immediately start ask does the horse like me? Bet he doesn’t like me? We reassure them that horse do not like or dislike, they do not judge, do not have any idea of past history or present day circumstances, the only thing the horses need is for you to be calm and then they are happy to hangout.
For some of our young people this is very challenging, we start sessions with a walk, adding in little tasks which focus on getting them in the moment; What can you hear, can you see any insects etc. We introduce breathing, walking around the arena where the horses are teaching the young person to breath through their nose and out through their mouth, focusing them on how this makes their mind and bodies feel.
Next we teach how to understand what the horse is feeling by watching their ears. We enter the arena and wait for the horse to come to the young person, we practice breathing as the young person holds out their hand, the horse will sniff and show interest, if the horse shows calmness the young person is encouraged to touch the horse. The young person has to verbally communicate there actions to the horse, watch the horses ears and remain calm. Its a lot to think about and can take some time but when it works it is a golden moment in so many ways:
The young person understands how to be calm
The horse shadows the young persons emotions so their is no pretending by the young person
The horse lets the the young person know when they move away from being calm
The young person understands how emotions affect the horse
The young person has a positive interaction with the horse
The young person understands how it’s not the horse liking or disliking them it is about how they are feeling.
This is the start and the foundations for further positive interaction with the horse to restore the young persons emotional regulation, confidence and relationship development. The ability to be calm around the horse springboards the young person into a safe environment. This in turn enables the young person to let down their defences and become their true selfs in the company of the horse.
For further information call Jo 0434201106
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